Tag Archives: psychology

The Hidden Benefits of Anger, Cursing and Negativity

What you think of as your worst qualities can have some surprising upsides.

201004-omag-worst-qualities-anger-600x411

Imperfect Harmony

In nature, nothing is ever black-and-white, and every yin has its yang. Time and time again we discover that things we thought were unequivocally unhealthy—like germs or UV rays—can sometimes be quite good for us. (We’re still waiting for some happy news about French fries.) And now researchers are beginning to find that the same is true of our habits and personality quirks. “In certain situations, what is typically a detrimental trait can turn out to be a good one,” says Bryan Gibson, PhD, professor of social psychology at Central Michigan University. In other words, what you perceive as faults—even minor ones like blurting out curse words when things go wrong or doodling whenever your boss fires up an Excel spreadsheet—can, in the right context, be strengths. Here’s why.

Continue reading

Advertisements
Tagged , , , , , , , , , , ,

Nasty People…

10093262

I wonder if nasty people know they’re nasty, or if they think they’re perfectly agreeable and good. Maybe they know they’re nasty, but don’t much care. I’d put nasty clown Donald Trump in that category.

I’m not talking about occasionally nasty people (I surely fit in that category). I’m talking full on nasty, 24/7. People who can’t utter a sentence without it sounding like they’re trying to put  you on the defensive.  People whose faces are perpetually scrunched into scowls, the corner of their mouths turned downward, their slitty eyes menacingly staring at you. These people are usually controlling and paranoid, too, a lovely combination that makes you want to scream.

If I put on my amateur psychiatrist hat, I think nasty people are all unhappy people, but not all unhappy people are nasty. I know a man (I’ll call him Robert) who ranks right up there in the ranks of nasties. Even after he had a major heart attack, he told someone I know that it “didn’t change him a bit.” If it wasn’t so pitiful, I’d laugh. Someone else I know, who is unhappy about being unemployed and can barely make ends meet, doesn’t have a nasty bone in her body.

The most effective way to deal with nasty people is to avoid them. If that’s not possible (let’s say you have to work with them), it’s wise to smile, kill them with kindness and not let them bother you, hard as it may be.

Nasty people usually get their comeuppance somewhere along the way.  But remember, that even if that doesn’t seem to be the case outwardly, chances are they’re suffering inwardly much of the time. It doesn’t make you like them a tad more, but it makes it a lot easier to suffer them!

Tagged , , , ,

Who Do You Think You Are? Why You’re in Control of Your Destiny…

By Mike Robbins

109742961

If you had to sum up your life’s story, would you say it’s inspiring? Boring? Tragic? Realize that not only are you the main character in your life, but you’re also the author—only you can determine if you think your story is good and what the next chapter will be!

Sometimes when I’m about to take a big risk, go for something important or step out in a bold way in my life, a judgmental question will pop up in my head: “Who do you think you are?” Does this ever happen to you?

This is one of the many ways the feelings of not being good enough or of unworthiness show up in your life and get in the way of your success, fulfillment and authenticity. Sadly, as most of people know, this question doesn’t come from your true self; it comes from your “Gremlin,” the little monster in your head whose only job is to keep you out of perceived danger. The more you listen to your Gremlin, the more you allow him or her to sabotage your life.
However, this question, “Who do you think you are?”—while often asked in a negative, critical way and is something you allow to stop you from doing, saying and going for important things in life—is also a very important question for you to ask and answer honestly. When you look at it on deeper level, you see that your answer to this question has a lot to do with how you experience life in general.
How life is for you has a lot less to do with your circumstances or situations and much more to do with how you relate to them and the thoughts you have. Some of the most powerful thoughts you think and the ones that have the most impact on you are the thoughts you have about yourself (i.e., who you think you are).
Everyone has a story about themselves and their lives. These stories are often dramatic, funny, scary, inspiring, sad, intense, boring, enjoyable or tragic (usually a combination of many of these things). In most cases, the story you have changes a bit, depending on how you’re feeling about life and yourself at any given time.
One of the things you may sometimes forget, however, is that you’re the author of the story of your life, not just the main character. You may think that your story has to do with all the things that have happened to you, the qualities you were born with or have cultivated, the stuff you’ve done or haven’t done yet. But, when you remember that your story is a function of your thoughts, most specifically the thoughts you have about yourself, you can be empowered to consciously transform not just your story, but your life as a whole.

Here are a few things to think about and do to enhance your thoughts about yourself and therefore enhance your experience of life:

  • Notice when your feelings of being not good enough or of unworthiness show up.
    In other words, pay attention to when the question, “Who do you think you are?” stops you in your tracks and takes you out of the game of your life. When you’re able to notice this, be honest about and have some compassion for yourself, you can take your power back from your Gremlin in those moments and step more fully into who you really are.
  • Ask yourself more deeply, “Who do you think you are?”
    Go deeper with this question, beyond the judgment, and really inquire about how you relate to yourself. What’s your story? The more honest you can be about the story you have about yourself, the easier it is for you to acknowledge it, own it and ultimately change it. Remember, these stories are not “true”—they are simply your interpretations, judgments and beliefs. You created them, so you have the power to transform them at any time.
  • Upgrade your story about yourself.
    In the specific areas of your life where your story is not empowering, inspiring or fulfilling, see if you’re willing and able to “upgrade” it in an authentic way. This basically means you change your thoughts, words and feelings about your story in a genuine way. Because people often get so attached to their stories and tend to defend them passionately, this upgrading process can be challenging. It sometimes takes support, feedback and coaching from others in order for you to move beyond your story and remember that you have the power to upgrade it whenever you’re ready.

Who you think you are is one of the most foundational aspects of how you relate to life and yourself. As Henry Ford said in his famous quote: “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.” This simple quote is so wise and profound. And, whether you think you’re great not, you’re always right—it’s a function of who you truly think you are.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , ,

There’s No Such Thing As An Uneventful Day…

103145979

“Not one day in anyone’s life is an uneventful day, no day without profound meaning, no matter how dull and boring it might seem, no matter whether you are a seamstress or a queen, a shoeshine boy, or a movie star, a renowned philosopher or a Down’s-syndrome child. Because in every day of your life, there are opportunities to perform little kin

dnesses for others, both by conscious acts of will and unconscious example. Each smallest act of kindness—even just words of hope when they are needed, the remembrance of a birthday, a compliment that engenders a smile—reverberates across great distances and spans of time, affecting lives unknown to the one whose generous spirit was the source of this good echo, because kindness is passed on and grows each time it’s passed, until a simple courtesy becomes an act of selfless courage years later and far away. Likewise, each small meanness, each thoughtless expression of hatred, each envious and bitter act, regardless of how petty, can inspire others, and is therefore the seed that ultimately produces evil fruit, poisoning people whom you have never met and never will. All human lives are so profoundly and intricately entwined—those dead, those living, those generations yet to come—that the fate of all is the fate of each, and the hope of humanity rests in every heart and in every pair of hands. Therefore, after every failure, we are obliged to strive again for success, and when faced with the end of one thing, we must build something new and better in the ashes, just as from pain and grief, we must weave hope, for each of us is a thread critical to the strength—to the very survival of the human tapestry. Every hour in every life contains such often-unrecognized potential to affect the world that the great days and thrilling possibilities are combined always in this momentous day.”
― Dean Koontz, From the Corner of His Eye

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , ,

My Brain Not on Drugs

brain-on-drugs

By Ethlie Ann Vare 

Huffington Post

This week, I celebrate 24 years free from drugs and alcohol. Go ahead and applaud. We drug addicts are perfectly willing to be congratulated for running out of a burning building. It’s our charm, a combination of inflated ego and low self-esteem sometimes referred to as “a piece of crap the universe revolves around.”

Anyway, the point of sobriety is that — minus major surgery, a valid prescription and someone holding your meds for you — you don’t use mind-altering substances. Period. What I have discovered over 24 years, however, is that you don’t need substances to alter the mind. As an addict, you can get addicted to pretty much anything. Recently, science has caught up with me.

Continue reading

Tagged , , , , , , , ,

The Exploding Ceiling Fan: The method of decision making…

by Amy Shearn

77807640

Maybe it’s because I’m a Libra but I’ve always had a hard time making decisions (or maybe none of that astrology stuff is real, I can’t decide). Big life-changing decisions I can make in the blink of an eye. It’s the little things that get me. For example, I am tortured by menus, only to immediately, inevitably regret whatever it is I’ve ordered. And then there is the matter of light fixtures. To wit, the fan that until quite recently was attached to the ceiling of my kitchen.

Continue reading

Tagged , , , , , , , ,

Social Media & Suicide: Screams For Help

By: Amy Shearn

95fbd5ad-6b5a-4b6c-b471-27a39509a463

I happened to be looking at Facebook at the brain-busting hour of 5:00 am when I saw a status update from someone I didn’t really know that read, “On hold with Suicide Prevention Hotline. I give up!”

Continue reading

Tagged , , , , , , , , ,

The exhaustion cure

122731832

Are you feeling stressed, fatigued, and burned out? Discover the top 10 ways to put a stopper in your personal energy drains

Consider this simple question: How are you?
We answer it 10 times a day, often rejoining with a clipped “Fine” or “Busy!” accompanied by a glazed smile. But when your best friend or spouse asks, perhaps you tell the deeper truth: You’re stressed out and tired. Really tired.

Continue reading

Tagged , , , , , , , ,

The Truth About Intuition…

93344358

There’s a growing acceptance among scientists (and psychics!) that we all possess an ancient inner wisdom that can guide us toward the best possible decisions in every part of our lives. The trick is learning to listen.

Continue reading

Tagged , , ,
mindfulmod

a mindful approach to modern living

Logical Quotes

Logical and Inspirational quotes

Biocadence

The rhythm of humanity in harmony with nature

The WordPress.com Blog

The latest news on WordPress.com and the WordPress community.

WordPress.com

WordPress.com is the best place for your personal blog or business site.

a political idealist.

Lidia. 21. A college student with a blog dedicated to the thoughts and ramblings of the mind.

Experimental Art with Silvia

Experimental abstract art is fun! Everyone should give it a try!

zk43

fine abstract art

Rambling through an abstract landscape

Paintings by John Wilkinson

The Art of Amira Rahim

Art and Life in the City

Michael E Picray

Check out my novella "Hamster Dan" - now only $4.99 on Amazon.com!!!

The Short and the Long of it ~ Monique Nagel

Give me 3 words and I'll write a short story or poem using them. Please be sure to comment, I'd love to hear what you have to say! Check out the "About" page, or add to the "Feel Good List"

Christian Williams

Exploring Pure Expression through Art, Music, and Words

Karen Gadient

Paint Slinger in Inner Space

observations of a canary

in words, sights and sounds

Markovich Pareidolia

Pareidolia is a psychological phenomenon involving a stimulus (an image or a sound) wherein the mind perceives a familiar pattern of something where none actually exists. Common examples are perceived images of animals, faces, or objects in cloud formations.

A Universal Life

This path has many roads, eventually they lead to the same destination

Johnny's Warehouse

The Online Journal of Writer and Photographer John Michael Antonio

Evelina Galli

Use things. Love people. Don't switch.

toemail

Pictures of toes, pictures of feet, making the world a better place, one foot at a time.

e MORFES

art design & oddities

New American Paintings/Blog

Juried Exhibitions-in-Print

%d bloggers like this: