Category Archives: psychology

Feeling Overwhelmed? Remember “RAIN”

Four Steps to Stop Being So Hard On Ourselves.

When I was in college, I went off to the mountains for a weekend of hiking with an older, wiser friend of twenty-two. After setting up our tent, we sat by a stream, watching the water swirl around rocks, talking about our lives. At one point she described how she was learning to be “her own best friend.” A wave of sadness came over me, and I broke down sobbing. I was the furthest thing from my own best friend. I was continually harassed by an inner judge who was merciless, nit-picking, demanding, always on the job. My guiding assumption was, “Something is fundamentally wrong with me,” as I struggled to control and fix what felt like a basically flawed self.

It’s like we’re in a trance that causes us to see ourselves as unworthy. Yet, I have seen in my own life, and with countless others, that we can awaken from this trance through practicing mindfulness and self-compassion. We can come to trust the goodness and purity of our hearts. Continue reading

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13 Habits of Exceptionally Likeable People

13 Habits of Exceptionally Likeable People

 

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Too many people succumb to the mistaken belief that being likeable comes from natural, unteachable traits that belong only to a lucky few—the good looking, the fiercely social, and the incredibly talented. It’s easy to fall prey to this misconception. In reality, being likeable is under your control, and it’s a matter of emotional intelligence (EQ).
In a study conducted at UCLA, subjects rated over 500 adjectives based on their perceived significance to likeability. The top-rated adjectives had nothing to do with being gregarious, intelligent, or attractive (innate characteristics). Instead, the top adjectives were sincerity, transparency, and capacity for understanding (another person). Continue reading

Self Talk: When Talking to Yourself, the Way You Do It Makes a Difference

photo by: Michal Zagorski

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Do you ever talk to yourself? Be honest. Researchers say talking to yourself, out loud, is more common than many of us might care to admit. Psychologists call it “self talk” and say how we do it makes a big difference in both our mood and our behavior. Most people engage in self-talk, experts say, though some do it louder and more often than others. When I asked, I heard from people who talk to themselves in the basement, in their cubicle at work and at the urinal in the men’s room. One woman turns the car radio down so she can hear herself better. Self-talk is what happens when you make yourself the target of your own comments, advice or reminders. Experts consider it a subset of thinking. You’re having a conversation with yourself. Continue reading

Here’s Why You Look Good Naked


 

A massage therapist has seen more unclothed humans than he can count; all of them perfect.

by Dale Favier

 

People have been undressing for me for a long time. I know what you look like: One glance at you, and I can picture pretty well what you’d look like on my table.

Let’s start here with what nobody looks like: Nobody looks like the people in magazines or movies. Not even models. Nobody. Lean people have a kind of rawboned, unfinished look about them that is very appealing. But they don’t have plump round breasts and plump round behinds. If you have plump round breasts and a plump round behind, you have a plump round belly and plump round thighs as well. That’s how it works. (And that’s very appealing too.)

Women have cellulite. All of them.

It’s dimply and cute. It’s not a defect. It’s not a health problem. It’s the natural consequence of not consisting of Photoshopped pixels and of not having emerged from an airbrush.
Continue reading

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Break Through Creative Blocks with this Unconventional Drawing Technique



Clarity of thought, creative breakthroughs and inner peace whilst having a vacation from your overactive mind?

Sound good?

You need to sharpen your pencils.

An all-too-familiar creative roadblock

If you’ve ever had a tight deadline for a project or been trying to finish that latest article that seems to never end, you’ll appreciate the desperation that can start to creep into your thinking.

You’ve been working for what seems like days, thinking and re-thinking, writing and rewriting, trying to unleash that one idea, that one genius brushstroke to finish the piece. But it keeps eluding you and you start to feel… slightly hysterical!

Logically you know there must be a simple solution, but if the answer doesn’t come easy, avoidance tactics creep in and you ask yourself a couple of dangerous questions:

Would checking my email help?

Would Google know the answer?

It can become increasingly difficult to break the cycle of the same idea milling around in your head. What we need is a fast track to creative clarity. Continue reading

8 Energy Zappers—and How to Avoid Them…

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Call it a personal energy crisis. On the surface, your life seems full enough—maybe even too full—yet you’re running on empty. You feel stretched thin, stressed-out, drained.
Sound familiar? It’s an epidemic, as described in Boston-based psychotherapist Mira Kirshenbaum’s revelatory new book, The Emotional Energy Factor. The most common complaints Americans bring to our doctors, she says, are: “I feel tired all the time,” and “Why do I feel so blah?” Once possible physical causes of fatigue have been ruled out (a crucial first step), many doctors diagnose mild depression and reach for the prescription pad. But is this really depression—or just depletion? And why do some people always have energy?

Continue reading

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Why You Need to Ask More Creative Questions


Image by alpha spirit via BigStock

I love crime dramas, especially ones where the protagonist appears to have a psychological edge over everyone else, such as The Mentalist, Sherlock and Luther.

The way they look at the crime scene from a different perspective and as a result get new insights into the case that ultimately leads them to the villain.

The majority of times what leads the protagonist to get fresh insight is the quality of questions they ask. When I coach my clients, I do so with the understanding that the questions I ask influences the direction of their thinking.

For example, if I ask you “What will ‘X’ get you?” you will tend to think about specific things (more money, less stress, more time). However if I ask you “What will that do for you?” you are more likely to come up with more value based abstract answers (freedom, contentment, acceptance).

The brain is goal seeking

Questions can lead you to more creative insight due to directing your thinking in a way that requires an answer. Your brain is a goal seeking mechanism, so if you ask it a question your prompt it to find an answer. These questions can provide a way of looking at a problem that provides solutions you hadn’t thought about before. Continue reading

What’s Holding You Back?

If traditional methods aren’t working for you, change your perception.

I noticed the training wheels on my son’s bike were no longer touching the ground. He was riding without them. “Let’s take those off,” I said.

“No Daddy, I’m not ready.”

“Sure you are; let’s give it a try.”

After I removed them, he got on the bike, but couldn’t get enough momentum to stay up and fell right over.

“See Daddy, I can’t do it. Put them back on.”

“Let’s try it again, this time I’ll push.” I grabbed the back of the seat and started pushing him. He was pedaling and riding perfectly, and I was having to run as fast as I could to continue holding the seat. “You’re doing it!” I cried. “I’m going to let go now.”

“No Daddy, don’t let go. I can’t do it.”

I let go, and he stopped pedaling. The bike rolled a few more feet, began to wobble, then fell over.

“I can’t do it. Daddy, please put the training wheels back on.”

He couldn’t see what I saw: that he was already riding without them. He was like a circus elephant tied to a stake in the ground. That elephant is strong enough to push over a tree, yet because she was tied to a stake as a baby – when she wasn’t strong enough to pull it up – she continues to believe it can’t be done. Continue reading

Welcome to mindfulmod.com!

My name is GiGi and I will be your official tour guide as you journey along with me through the pages of mindfulod.com.

This blog has been created solely as a daily source for inspiration.

Whether your glass is half full or half empty, pick a topic and read on Brothers & Sisters.

Once again I welcome you to my sweet place in cyberspace.

Mindfully,

GiGi

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Interesting Perspective?

barbie as venus de milo

A new kind of beauty

I’m interested in what we define as beauty, when we choose to create it ourselves. Beauty has always been a currency, and now that we finally have the technological means to mint our own, what choices do we make? Is beauty informed by contemporary culture? By history? Or is it defined by the surgeon’s hand? Can we identify physical trends that vary from decade to decade, or is beauty timeless? When we re-make ourselves, are we revealing our true character, or are we stripping away our very identity? Perhaps we are creating a new kind of beauty. An amalgam of surgery, art, and popular culture? And if so, are the results the vanguard of human induced evolution?

Mr. Toledano

2008-2010

 

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